After 17 years of being cancer free, my breast cancer came back as a fast growing brain tumor. I am recuperating after having had a large tumor removed. They removed all of the tumor and left me all of my grey matter. I have no brain damage – how crazy is that. The seriousness of the situation is not lost on me and I would like to use this blog to tell my story. When my friend Joan’s cancer returned and was facing a difficult bone marrow transplant, she went on what her husband described as “my farewell tour” . This blog will act as my farewell tour. I smile to think it may be a very long farewell tour; my friend Betty Mac lived over twenty years after her terminal diagnosis.
Those people who know me, know that I am going to start with the ironing story. Those people who don’t know me so well – it is a good story.
They used to have a phrase for people like me in early sobriety – “not quite right”. I carried a buck knife in my back pocket and took it out if anyone tried to get too close. I would sometimes sharpen the blade during meetings while the other women knitted. (Then I would wonder why nobody would give me a ride to a meeting).
I met Clark on a Sunday Night, he came up to the pole I was leaning against and said may I lean also. He didn’t say anything else; I liked that about him. Two years later, he asked me out on a date – I stood him up. He asked again and we went to the Brown book store and a meeting. Later that evening he shook my hand good night. A month later he moved in. He asked me if I would iron his shirts and I said no – Thank you. Thirty years went by; my mother and I went to many meetings together and when she got ill (dementia and cancer), I took care of her.
After she died, we ended up with her stuff. I ended up with her iron. One day while, putting the shirts in the dryer. I took out the iron and started ironing Clark’s shirts. God had healed something inside that I didn’t think was able to be healed. Among our circle, we often hear the phrase beyond my wildest dreams – ironing Clark’s shirts is my beyond my wildest dreams.
All Are Welcome in my Father's House 