Essay You are Mine (07/11/20)

With Covid-19 wreaking havoc on life as we know it, I find that it has been easier to see God in all of the seemingly unconnected activities (especially when I look for connections). On June 6, the Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd (LCGS) Choir shared with us a virtual choral rendition of “You Are Mine” One June 7, we started having Zoom coffee hour following the YouTube worship service.  During the Sunday July 5th coffee hour, I asked for prayers regarding the weather for July 11th – it had been forecast-ed for an 80% chance of rain – it stayed dry all day. Saturday July 11th, Clark presented me with a gourmet cupcake with two small candles – 4 and 0. It was an awesome day with too many well wishes to put down in this writing.
The July 12 Lutheran virtual sermon was on the Parable of the Sower (with explanation) from Matthew 13. The July 19 Lutheran virtual sermon was on the Parable of weeds among the wheat (with explanation)
All of these events seem to me to illustrate the truth of Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Let’s start with the song; “You are Mine” by David Haas. I thought it was the perfect song to have on my playlist in the weeks before my anniversary.
[Verse 1] I will come to you in the silence; I will lift you from all your fear. You will hear My voice; I claim you as My choice; be still, and know I am near.
[Verse 2] I am hope for all who are hopeless; I am eyes for all who long to see. In the shadows of the night’ I will be your light’ Come and rest in Me.
[Verse 3] I am strength for all the despairing; Healing for the ones who dwell in shame. All the blind will see, the lame will all run free; and all will know My name.
[Chorus] Do not be afraid, I am with you; I have called you each by name. Come and follow Me; I will bring you home; I love you and you are mine.

July 11th marked my 40th sober anniversary (or sober birthdays as my friend Paula referred to them). I was deeply touched as I listened to my friend Sue’s rendition of Happy Birthday to you… recorded in my voice mail. (I wonder if she was aware that Paula used to do the same.)

Sky show on my sober anniversary 7/11/17
“I like to think that, if sobriety is God’s gift to me, then my sober life is my gift to God. I hope that God is as happy with His gift as I am with mine.” – Anonymous

The two sermons listed above both referred to agricultural parables. Jesus used simple stories to describe the Kingdom of God. The reading in the first sermon describes how a sower went out to sow and how seeds fell on the path, on rocky ground, among thorns and in good soil. In the explanation, it is explained how the things of this world prevent all but the seed in good soil from producing good fruit. As Pastor Kohl discussed how, at various times in our lives, our inner-self reflect any and all of these terrains; and since it was the day after my anniversary, I could not help but add my own twist to the story. When I first started drinking, I thought I had found the solution to my problems, I went from a special needs kid to a straight A student. I thought hard work and perseverance was the answer to any problem – walking humbly with God was not on my list of goals. Looking back on my “successes”, I see how fake they were – like the path, rocky ground and thorns. It reminded me of a Latin teacher in high school who laughing shared with us that B.S stood for bull shit, M.S. stood for more shit and P.H.D stood for piled higher and deeper (she had a P.H.D in Latin studies). As I listened to Pastor Kohl, I smiled as I realized that the failings of my life made for good manure, which in turn has produced good soil.

The reading in the second sermon was the Parable of weeds among the wheat (with explanation): Just as the weeds are collected and burned up with fire, so it will be at the end of the age…the angels…will collect all causes of sin and all evildoers and they will throw them into the furnace of fire.” After my fourth and fifth step, I am keenly aware that all grace comes from God and that anything that I grow on my own is weed. When I was younger, I was afraid of this passage thinking that I was going to burn in hell, now I am comforted that God will remove from me any character defect that inhibits my usefulness to him or others. In other words, all sin and evil will be removed making me “white as snow.”