“If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete.” – Viktor Frankl
As a child I was deeply afraid of death. I did not want to consider my own death nor consider the possible death of a family member. Easter was fine as long as the focus was on chocolates and Jesus conquering death. Comparing our Methodist traditions to the Catholics we knew, the Catholics seemed a little dismal in their focus on the suffering of Christ. As my hunger and thirst for Jesus has increased over the last year, my religious practices have broadened to include the prayers and practices of many denominations. I am drawn over and over again to the Holy Cross as a means to fulfill my inner hunger.
Let’s start with the picture above and why it is so special. I had just finished a fourth and fifth step. (Made a searching and fearless moral inventory and shared it with another human being). This fourth and fifth step focused on my inner girl and inner kid. (I had not discussed them in my earlier fourth and fifth steps because I had locked them away for many years in a closet). At the end of this process, God invited them to become nuns, pink nuns of the Sister-Servants of the Holy Spirit of Perpetual Adoration in Steyl Netherlands. This order of nuns prays 24/7 and speaks only one hour a week. My inner girl and kid had found their calling. I describe this to friends as “my inner girl and kid are nuns, which makes me laugh because I am not Catholic.” Soon afterwards I started visiting Enders Island, whose chapel, seen above, is open for prayer 24/7. Inside they have beautiful icon paintings of the fourteen Stations of the Cross. The first time I visited the chapel, I prayed in front of each station while contemplating the meaning and bringing Bible verses to mind. I started to sob as His death (for me) became real. After I finished, I started to get emotional, once again, when I noticed water coming from the side of the Chapel on a rain free day. The two Bible verses below came to mind, (makes me smile how my Higher Power expresses himself).
33 But when they came to Jesus and found that he was already dead, they did not break his legs. 34 Instead, one of the soldiers pierced Jesus’ side with a spear, bringing a sudden flow of blood and water. John 19
“…The water was coming down from under the south side of the temple, south of the altar. 2 He then brought me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the outer gate facing east, and the water was trickling from the south side. …9 And it shall come to pass, that everything that lives, which moves, whithersoever the rivers shall come, shall live: and there shall be a very great multitude of fish, because these waters shall come thither: for they shall be healed; and everything shall live whither the river cometh. Ezekiel 47
I tie these two Bible verses to the Eucharist that Jesus established at the Last Supper. “Take and eat. This is my body.” Jesus, for the love of us, offered His body and blood as real food and drink for our spiritual nourishment.
I often ponder Matthew 16 verses 13 through 26
13 Now when Jesus came into the district of Caesarea, Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?”…… “But who do you say that I am?” 16 Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” 17 And Jesus answered him, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah! For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my Father in heaven. 18 And I tell you, you are Petros, and on this Petra I will build my church.
(Peter comes from the Greek word Petros, Petra is the feminine word for rock)
21 From that time on, Jesus began to show his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and undergo great suffering at the hands of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. 22 And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This must never happen to you.” 23 But he turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; for you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.”
24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 25 For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit them if they gain the whole world but forfeit their life? Or what will they give in return for their life?
When the Holy Spirit is working in me (when my attitude is “Thy will not mine be done”), then I live in Jesus and Jesus lives in me. (I too become a rock, a part of Jesus’s church). When I allow my fears and anxieties to dictate my actions, I have set my mind on human things.
I think St. Thérèse of Lisieux sums it up well:
“To be a little child means to recognize our nothingness, to look for everything from God, as a little child looks for everything from its father.” —St. Thérèse of Lisieux
This is the 14th Station located inside Ender’s Island Chapel by artist Jed Gibbons. Mary lovingly lays Jesus in the tomb (reminiscent of the manger). The Background is inside the small sea side chapel looking out onto the sea. Father Tom has a nice explanation on YouTube.
Clark bought a Stations of the Cross Chaplet with the fourteen Stations depicted on small color oval pendants. I pray using this chaplet every morning while I walk around the block. The neighbors smile and wave at the crazy lady who prays in all kind of weather. I have told close friends that I get to die with Jesus every day; and that is what it feels like – a death to self and allowing my Higher Power to have all of me (good and bad).
Dear God, my Creator, I am now (Today), willing for you to have all of me (good and bad). Please remove any character defect that inhibits my usefulness to you and/or others. Give me the strength to do thy will. Thy will not mine be done.
I find it easier to repeat the prayers that express what I feel. I think that is why I often interject the Fatima Prayer in devotions that don’t usually call for it:
Oh my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of Hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those most in need of thy mercy.
C E R T A I N T Y
Because of what I’ve done
do you think
He’ll accept me?
because of what you’ve done
how could He not?
because the moment you said YES
He did too
because from all eternity He has
cherished you
because those who can see
understand this is true
because the world He’s created is
incomplete without you
P. D. Papshise
This is my favorite poem by my friend Paula. I have, more than once, given it to someone mourning the loss of a loved one. She wrote this after our friend Russell died. I think that it speaks to the human condition. I love the last line: Because the world He’s created is incomplete without you. I compare this to the timelessness of the Glory Be: “…as it was in the Beginning, is now, and forever shall be, world without end. Amen”
All Are Welcome in my Father's House 